Dead as doornail

So...I was driving to work with my battery light on. I figured I could make it to work and back without having my car die. (I commute an 1 and 1/2 round trip from work) So then halfway to work I decided as my cd player was going out (why was I using my cd player when I have a low battery? That was a doofus moment) I decided that I needed to turn around and go to the dealership. (Ok so Jon suggested that I turn around and go to the dealership) So I turn back and then my turn signals go out...ok really low battery. So I meet Jon and he is going to follow me up to the dealership where he goes to school (all the dealerships are far far away). We are driving on the highway and then halfway to the dealership my car loses it's acceleration and so I pull off the road. And my car dies. I had brought a power jumper with me so we thought we would try that. But when we popped the hood there was white stuff corroded on the battery. We didn't know what that meant and decided we should probably get a tow. Meanwhile a cop pulls up behind us (mind you my registration is expired and I can't find the title to renew it and that is a whole OTHER story) and luckily he doesn't notice the registration. But he is trying to help us and he says we might as well try jumping it with the power jumper we had so we did...It work!...and the cop followed us to the end of the highway and left us there, where 4 blocks later my car dies again. We jump it again and we drive two more blocks. And then it dies again. (because I accidently turned my headlights on out of routine) Then we jumped it again and we are manuvering through the streets oh so carefully trying not to stop at all if possible (mind you there are stop lights every block) and then we finally pull into the dealership and right as I park where I need to it dies again. My poor car.
Dead battery,out of alignment, cracked windshield, and then on top of that the guy at the dealership is all "man this car needs wax..." Salt on the wound my friends.